Integration of a psychedelic experience

What is integration all about? A practical approach and thoughts on challenging post retreat integration.

At the heart of using teacher plants such as mushrooms and ayahuasca for personal growth and healing lies the concept of integration. But what is integration in relation to psychedelic therapy?

During the teacher plant journey people often have deeply emotional and meaningful insights and experiences. These can relate to anything the person is going through, and they can be overwhelming and overpowering – both in the positive and the more challenging aspects. Once the journey ends and the person comes back to normal consciousness, the integration of the experience in essence means to try to make sense of it and to incorporate what was learned and felt into everyday life.

Coming on a retreat is best seen as a process rather than an experience. Sure, you come on the retreat to have a hopefully powerful and meaningful experience, but in order to gain the most of it, the integration of the experience after your retreat is a process, and you will need to continue your inner work to make sense of the experience you had and integrate it into your life.

A research study looking at the use of psychedelics did not actively seek to measure integration issues or unexpected side effects, however, it found that nine out of thirty participants (30%) spontaneously reported a post-experience integration challenge. These challenges included: mood fluctuations, ‘post-ecstatic blues’, disconnection from community, re-experiencing symptoms, spiritual bypass and perceived lack of support. Integration challenges were transient; they occurred immediately after the psilocybin experience (once the main psychedelic effects had worn off) and in the days and weeks following the retreat, and resolved with time. Integration challenges were also correlated with positive after-effects including long-term remission of significant health conditions. (https://akjournals.com/view/journals/2054/6/3/article-p211.xml, accessed on 10.04.2024). So remember that even if you find it challenging to go back to your normal life after a retreat, over time it will get easier, and the hard work after a retreat is correlated with a long-term positive outcome.

But HOW do you integrate your experience into your life? Let me use a personal example: On one of my journeys, the main message that kept coming through was “Let go. Open up.” Throughout my journey I kept feeling, hearing and seeing those words. During the journey I also saw myself carrying two heavy suitcases up a hill, and then I let go of them. Just like that, I put down my baggage and continued my journey feeling lighter, wondering why I hadn’t done that years ago.

When I came back to normal consciousness, I wrote it all down in my journal and connected with my experience as much as I could over the following days. What did it mean? How could I let go and open up in my normal life? I played with the words and feelings in my head and heart, I thought about all the different things I want to let go of, such as my emotional baggage from childhood trauma. I thought about how I for so many years had carried a lot of hatred and bitterness around with me, and I felt myself putting down those suitcases full of such a heavy weight. And it was extremely healing and so powerful.

It can be useful to ask yourself some questions about your journey such as, what were the most important messages and feelings? How do these relate to my daily life? How can I incorporate them and make use of them going forward? What are some actions I can take to integrate this experience into my daily life?

For me, on that journey, the feeling of letting go of the heavy bitterness was so powerful, but back in normal consciousness it didn't feel quite as strong anymore. I have to keep reminding myself of that feeling, of the fact that it IS possible to let it go. I also know that it takes practice to not feel that bitterness anymore, it’s been with me for so many years. So I asked myself, How do I let go? What do I open up to? What actions can I take to make this happen?

My actions to reinforce the messages from this particular journey and to integrate them into my life have been to meditate on them, to reconnect with them, to give them more and more power and daily mental presence. “I CAN let go, I CAN put it down.” I visualise myself putting down the suitcases every time I forget the feeling of it. And the more I practice it, the easier those thought patterns come to me and the less power my old patterns have.

The trauma, hatred and bitterness was also a big part of my personality somehow, a big part of how I had defined myself for so long. So I had to open up to becoming someone else in a way, and that can be scary too. I had to be open to thinking other thoughts about my childhood and reframe my childhood experience in a light that was more useful to me – because the bitterness was not.

But please be aware that the integration process after your retreat can at times be very difficult, however research suggests that working through integration difficulties can facilitate positive growth, which also helps to explain research findings that participants see “adverse effects” from ayahuasca journeys, for example, as a part of the process of growth (https://www.mdpi.com/2813-1851/2/2/14, accessed on 10.04.2022). As challenging as it might be, it is part of it.

And remember, at A New Day Retreats we are here for you after your journey, so if you come to do a retreat with us in Spain but feel overwhelmed and lost when you return home, you can still reach out to reconnect with us and get support to help make sense of your experience. The two psychotherapists who work with us, Paul and Nikki, are also happy to go deeper with you on your healing journey if you feel the need or desire for psychotherapy after your retreat.